Unlike the bright and wonderful world as
portrayed in Disney's Aladdin theme song,
the one I am going thru somehow misses that
by a complete mile...
Looking back unto the past year has certainly
drawn a few memorable recollections here and
there, one of which was the entry I made earlier
this year in Feb... its not too hard to do
considering that this site gets the owner's
attention once in a blue moon...
in Feb there were 3 things i remember yearning for...
shoes, cash and partner... and this is the beautiful
part... providence...
i've finally had suffice spare cash to get myself a nice
pair of Addidas sneakers, not too pricey considering i
was wrecking my head contemplating which of the shoes in
my affordability range could i get and still get the most
out it by making sure it looks good with my berms and my
jeans... so that little brown pair happens to fit the role
quite aptly (all pun intended)... Praise God...
i've realised that i've never quite used to saying the
phrase "Praise God" as much as i do now (still not very
much btw), but i suppose the habits of Joseph is certainly
rubbing off on me... so who says cell groups are not
beneficial?
and then comes the wait...
cash...
6 mths into unemployment...
countless resumes and a couple of potential interviews,
and here i am... buoying from one game to another...
living on sustenance thanks to tuition and Dad...
i dunno... have i honestly not tried hard enuff? how
do u measure these things? does sending out 20 resumes
and flooding the agents mailboxes actually count as trying
hard or just plain silly? so far the source of all my income
has been by the grace of God... when Nicole's tuition ended,
i was able to hop on the Zenitant bandwagon and earn some cash
which paid for the shoes, and then Sharoniel somehow, somewhere
had a client who needed tuition for her son, Wui Chin... and
the best part was that i was able to start early enuff so that
i could get paid before Christmas and that i didn't need to ask
from my Dad this festive season... nonetheless, i've just started
using the Excel software to track my expenses for the measly $300
for the various dinners and gifts... hope this habit (if it becomes
one) won't turn me into some scrooge the pinches on every penny and
dime....
this status of unemployment has also drove me to really consider
setting up a company in the business of selling t-shirts online,
still not sure if that is what God wants me to go... all the
indications points everywhere... teaching seems to be in the books
as well... but i'm not sure... however as of now, there is one
thing i am certain, i need a closer walk with Him... sounds off
tangent i know, but it makes perfect sense... here am i trying to
figure out what God wants me to go, but i am not close enough to
discern His directions... i found this out when one day while
dinning out with Dad, i realised that my closeness with him led me
to buy the drink he actually wanted (some china apple drink), when
he asked for 100 plus... and when i got him the drink he was surprised
as i was as well when he related his side of the story to me...
so yeah, i figured unless i get a little closer, i would forever be
hard of hearing or more accurately trying blindly to find out the things
He wants me to do....
partner...
still single... but now with a resolve...
i had worked out a plan with God to find that elusive someone
(this concept actually mirrors the story of Rebekah and Isaac),
its more like a guideline to ascertain the person God had planned
for me... and this takes shape in 3 rules:
Rule #1 - God's timing
Career before marriage... No work no date...
How can i be considered a responsible adult when i think of
my own happiness and not that of the person i love? surely i must be
able to provide some form of spiritual leadership, emotional & physical
strength and and financial stability especially in this time of crisis...
Rule #2 - God's selection
That she be serving (just as Rebekah did) in the house of the Lord, and
at place where i worship, be it Emmanual AG or who knows another church
elsewhere... the key is that i must be there 1st before i meet her...
for that way i can know my motive is clear, God before babe...
after speaking to Carrie a while back, i've learnt that there is no
"the one", there is more likely "the group"... at the end of the day
i believe God still wants us to make our choice, our free willed choice...
Rule #3 - My fancy...
i suppose this reflects what was mentioned earlier... that she should
be someone i fancy/like/attracted to/gets-my-heart-pounding/etc...
its strange when you're always so caught up on this issue and God
suddenly turns and say, "Dun worry Justin, I have prepared someone
for you... In the meantime, how are you going to spend the time freed
from this worrying?"
in that moment, instantly you feel like its impossible to be concerned
with this partner issue you did before... to be honest, i was surprised,
but more concerned with the 2nd part of that message...
i doubt i'm proud of the way i've spend my time so far, but still...
oh well...
blessings 6mths on....
can you believe it? we have a family car now.... and strangely,
i've realised i'm a very different driver compared to the me i was
at 22... i hate going above 90km/h now, cause its just now fuel
efficient, and i'm actually kinda protective of the new vehicle...
anyway, now that i've gotten my shoe, time to change to 3 things:
1) A closer walk with Him / Direction in life
2) Cash / Job
3) Partner / Wife
Cheerios my future self....
Hope to hear some good news!!! And remember:
God is good all the time, and He will never shortchange us!!!
