Aftermath...

Called her today to remind her to suspend her line...
Apparently, some jerk had to steal her phone from her bag...
Feels really weird...
She still calls me, "Dear..."
And I so want to say the same thing,
But somehow, the word just doesn't come out!
Strange but true...
How I wish things were back as they were...
In the end, I just called her by her name,
Really feel bad about it...
Cause' I dunno how she's taking it...
Don't want her to feel I now love her less or anything,
But this is a break...
How does one take a break,
And still let the other party know that the feelings
Are still as strong?
We've taken a break from each other,
Trying to work out things within ourselves...
But its so hard...
Really feel like a jerk now...
Feel like taking a vacation for the next few weeks...
My bloody clientele situation is also a mess...
Everything things is in such chaos...
But at least , I'm no longer paralysed by my grief...
Starting to move on,
But the progress is slow....
Somehow, my guy pals found out about through my blogs...
Dun know which one of them actually bothers about such things...
Didn't want them to know so early,
Cause' I didn't really want to repeat the story...
Really drains my energy and my spirit everytime
Someone asks me about it...
Sorry guys... Will tell you about it in time to come...
Will be fine...
Don't worry... There's no way I'll swallow 60 pills...
Dun have such a big mouth... =)
I just need time by myself for a while...
Still miss her a hell lot...
Being separated from her like this is really uncomfortable...
Take a pilot for an example,
After getting so accustomed to flying in his jet for so long,
And then dropping the bomb on him
By telling him his grounded for life due to whatever reasons...
I doubt he'll be able to take it too...
There's this ache in my heart,
That's kinda throbbing a little still...
But don't worry, I'll live...
3 months is no joke....
Many ppl tell me its a lost cause,
And even though she might return then,
Things would have changed btw her and me...
It'll just be an empty shell...

I know the possible outcome of those scenarios...
But let me be the fool again...
I'm trying to keep the faith here...
Thanks...