"Fear"

Fear: fîr
1. To be afraid or frightened of.
2. To be uneasy or apprehensive about: feared the test results.
3. A reason for dread or apprehension: Being alone is my greatest fear.

I'm afraid. Truly frightened.
Though with many assurances, I still am powerless to shake off this overwhelming dread.
I fear my choice today, will mark my colossal loss. An epic greek tragedy.
Given the plight that I am in, how else would one make an wiser alternative?
I chose to let her go. Let her free.
Hoping that she'll return, for thence both will know we'll be together for certain.
But now I fear, fear that she may not return.
Fear that someone else, may exploit this vulnerable period.
Fear that we may not be as close as before.
Why then did I chose so foolishly?
Only so that one could learn the lesson of "loss" and the meaning of "cherish".
One could never learn of one without the other.
Therefore, I chose to risk it all, but only to find myself suffering at the end of it all.
Though, she asks that I only trust her,
I find that its an uphill task with no end in sight.
Everyday and night I battle my doubts with what I know of her, and yet that is not suffice,
For I am an insecure sentient mortal.
I have traded a "diamond in the rock" with God,
Now I know not whether I'll get in return a polished jewel,
Or nothing at all,
Nothing but a lesson to be learnt.
If that were so,
I'd rather be sad with the rough,
Then with nothing at all...