Marriage...

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.

But then again, so are thunder and lightning.


Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention

to every word you say; talk in your sleep.


Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100
grand!


Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.


Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure
of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.


Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as
one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which
one.


Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall
asleep before you finish.


Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook. But
the law allows only one wife.


Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why
wife treats husband like toxic waste.


Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..