www.crosswalk.com

Was reading an article on singles...
I'll elaborate the contents tomorrow,
Right now,
I'm just wondering about some things...

Ok,
I know for sure, trying to patch things up at this point of time,
Is definitely not God's will...

Sooooooooooooooo.....
From the article,
It mentioned Permissive will and Perfect will.

Permissive Will:
To ask and ask, again and again...
Till God choose to give in to you, because He loves you.
This may be good, but its certainly not the best.
The problem is,
Things don't usually work out right when we are only in His Permissive Will.

Perfect Will:
This is the ideal, the best scenario God had intended.
Basically, the way God had things planned.

Question is:
Which is which?
Is being with her in God's Permissive or Perfect Will?

This is my dilemnma....

You see,
I met her when I was finally contented
Or rather having come to terms with being single.
Though, I did ask God for someone,
I prayed that God to do it in His Perfect Will...
"Your Will be done", and for the first time I meant it...
And it wasn't before long,
That she popped into my life...
And the rest as they say is history...

So now the thing is,
Were we meant to be together in the first place?
I still believe so.
But I'm just not that certain as before.
Simply because on hindsight now,
I see God's hand in it...
Kinda like priming me for what to expect...
But right now,
I'm not sure whether what I saw then,
Was because that was what I wanted to see,
Or was it that was what it suppose to be.

I did remember asking God not to put her into my group before I met her,
I did remember not wanting to join the camp,
I did remember she telling me she did not want to join as well,
So why did the both of us participate at the last minute,
Why did she join my team?
Why was I given a chance to share with her my thoughts in a social setting unknowingly,
Why was I primed to accept her, despite my usual principles?
Why was I moved to forgive and love and treasure her totally?
Why was I worked on by God so thoroughly?

If God hadn't intended for us to be together,
Why?

And it is because there are so many unanswered questions,
That I cannot bring myself to accept that her presence in my life,
Is simply because I had asked God for it one too many times for someone,
That He finally gave in to me...
I doubt this is God's Permissive Will...

But like usual,
One will only comprehend this episode,
When we have passed the trial,
And moved on to another journey...