ironies...

should i change the title?
in time i suppose...
kinda weird having since i'm no longer
a Christian anymore...
i believe in God... just maybe not
the promises anymore...
so much unanswered requests/prayers gone by
over the years...
well done...
everytime when i try to get closer...
i sensed that i being pushed away...
while he heaps curses one upon another on me
and my family...
Jer 29:11... so much for plans huh...
well enough is enough...
i couldn't care less anymore...

things haven't been exactly rosy...
and i'm tired of things the way they are...
change...
so easy to say,
so hard to do....
wished i could really work now...
by gotta study first...
man, how i wished things were better...
not the subsistence life that we are going thru now...
fuck,
everyday is a challenge to see how to survive...
i need a job...
but who would be willing to hire a staff that has to
go for classes during working hours???

2 years...
it been more than 2 years
and i still have trouble forgetting my ex....
this is so screwed up...
why can't i just get over it and move along???
this is really pissing me off....
this moments of "reminisce" happens
primarily during the exam period when i am
already stressed out....
wish someone could stick something into my head
and withdraw that memory out!
it was pleasant...
so pleasant that its painful now that its gone...

i hate this station of my life...
someone pass me the universal remote,
so i can "Click" pass this miserable period....
sheesh...